urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:love_toaster -Warming you up with Toast- Toaster 2008-03-07T22:57:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:love_toaster:773 2008-03-07T22:39:53Z 2008-03-07T22:57:39Z Little Death - +44 *Boom*<br />I'm losing it a bit. Again. I might have turned insanely violent. Lord help me. Work has been cut back a little. I still have to wake up every Saturday and Sunday at 3 am and work till 9:30 pm. Some schooldays I do go into work. *sigh* I am trying to help my family by working hard but it is driving me a little bit. I get paid 4.5 $ an hour. I see drunk, after drunk, after drunk. I need to start working on cosplays. I also need to work on my accademic life. It is all going down hill. The anime club is getting on my nerves a bit, but I do still love it. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I might need to go to counselling again. I am starting to think about morals again. I hope it doesn't take me over again. No matter what the balance of good and evil is in my mind... I still want to explode sometimes. Smoking does calm me down at some moments... when I know I might lash out. It is dumb. I know it. I have to quit this. Signing out. <br /><br /><br /> -Toaster&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:love_toaster:763 2008-03-04T03:40:57Z 2008-03-04T03:40:57Z coldsweat <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;I need to be saved. I am&nbsp;going insane. I wish I understood everything. I wish I&nbsp;could explore life more. I have the urge to see everything, experience everything. I don't want to waste time. I&nbsp;have so many dreams and yet I tend to forget that successfull plans only succeed if they have an order and are done properly. I have not been sticking to my rules and order. I have been&nbsp;digressing from&nbsp;my goals. I must rest for tomorrow. I hope i&nbsp;in healthy in body and mind enough to go through the day tomorrow without loosing it.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; -&lt;3 Toaster</p>